The @ne in your heart

Down time.. think too much

sigh.. been a long time since i felt so down.. looks like no comp = no games = more free time = think too much.. now really no mood to do my lab report.. yet

just got the results of my comp condition.. change motherboard n graphic card also gone.. sianzz around $200 bucks bye bye.. amazingly bcos of this prob, in the past 2 hours i've chatted more than i did in the past 2 weeks.. very long never keep in contact with some frens liao.. sigh y am i getting lost in my own cyber world

anyway i had too much 'free' time and went into some deep thinking.. i realised how lost i've been and currently still floating around aimlessly.. last week was the application for industrial attachment for next sem.. had to write resume and pick a few companies as my choices.. looking through all the job scope and so on.. nothing just seems to interest me.. i was like, "sianz, wat am i doin in this field?".. wat more would be my reasons in picking my choice of company other than how BIG profiled the company is and also its distance from NTU. can't bear to wake up at 5am to go changi work.. siao one haha

when i came to the part of writing resume, i asked for a copy from a fren.. bad idea.. so envy to see how some ppl already have so so MANY things under their belt while i'm just a small fry compared to them. seriously i have nothing to compare with such ppl.. then got the essay part.. so sad to say that i can only write my ideal self n not my true self.. it's amazing how one can lie so much abt themself just to impress others in things like job application

u know tat feeling of falling so far away from wat u wish to be.. really sux.. really hate it.. i can say this now but this feeling will just fade away soon when i'm unconciously falling back to the comfort zone again.. then one day when i get bored of this mediocre life, i'll wake up n see how my life have been so screwed over n over again.. then i'm just gonna live with it

can somebody just slap me in my face n tell me to wake up every single day.. i think i need a cane to discipline me everyday.. so old liao still need ppl to discipline sigh.. like little kid liddat :(

now i can understand y almost all successful ppl come from very bad or sad background or at least they've been through hell at one point of their life.. it's bcos they've been through the worse n they swear to themself tat they'll make a change.. they have this motivation tat others who is living a comfortable life doesn't have

so does misfortune bring fortune?

The @ne's cognitive processes @ 9:47:00 PM

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Time to wake up!!

here i am sitting in the computer room staring at this monitor finding things to do cos MY COMPUTER DIED!!! argghh barely one day n i feel so DEAD without my own personal comp.. brought it to hospital this morning n now hoping it's no BIG deal. just now the guy say like so many things wrong.. start from motherboard la, then video card la, then power supply la and worse, summore say my dvd-rw.. WTH!! u telling me to buy new comp isit? i know it shld be my motherboard prob only la.. dun try to sell ur whole shop to me can? this is wat i hate most about computer shops.. computer not yet die also they make until die then korek $$$ from u.. my comp cannot startup only ma.. dunno say dunno la.. say until everything also gone case

but anyway i now really praying hard tat it's only a small problem and especially not tat my pentium chip is burned.. tat will cost me some $500 bucks.. 5 months no need eat liao.. if motherboard spoil then maybe around $150 = one month maggie mee. but the worst part of all this is tat it's just 2 days away from my lab report deadline!!

wenkeat wenkeat!! wake up la.. last minute only do work and then the computer kaputt pulak.. sigh.. confirm teaching me a lesson.. talking abt waking up - i shld STOP.. nono more like REDUCE my time playing maple. think play too much till my comp want to punish me liao.. sad :(

need to START study lo.. dun even know wat this sem is abt yet.. really BAD very BAD.. but for now.. lab report comes first.. sianzzz

The @ne's cognitive processes @ 4:33:00 PM

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