Learn from Frustration‏
In every frustration, there is a powerful message. Frustration tells you, in no uncertain terms, that something is not as good as it could possibly be. There's a reason for every frustration. And when you choose to be brutally honest with yourself, there's also a positive and potentially life-changing response.
The best response to frustration is not to fight it or resent it or let it break you down, but to learn from it. Perhaps frustration is attempting to convince you of the need to speak out against injustice, or pointing out changes that you know you must make in your own behavior. Frustration may very well be telling you that what you're doing at the moment is not at all in line with your most deeply held values.
Frustration may be your way of telling yourself that you need to more fully prepare for life's various challenges. It could be that frustration is helping you to realize that there must be a more effective, more efficient, more compassionate, or more sensible way to do some particular thing. Many great achievements and advances start out as frustrations.
Feel the frustration, and then listen very carefully. For that frustration is giving you some priceless advice.
-- Ralph Marston
The best response to frustration is not to fight it or resent it or let it break you down, but to learn from it. Perhaps frustration is attempting to convince you of the need to speak out against injustice, or pointing out changes that you know you must make in your own behavior. Frustration may very well be telling you that what you're doing at the moment is not at all in line with your most deeply held values.
Frustration may be your way of telling yourself that you need to more fully prepare for life's various challenges. It could be that frustration is helping you to realize that there must be a more effective, more efficient, more compassionate, or more sensible way to do some particular thing. Many great achievements and advances start out as frustrations.
Feel the frustration, and then listen very carefully. For that frustration is giving you some priceless advice.
-- Ralph Marston
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Living in the eyes of others
for countless posts before this, i've talked about being lost and how much i desire to find my purpose and passion in life.. about not knowing what i want to be.. let me recount a few of such posts:
What am I to be?
Stop waiting
Down time.. think too much
the ANSWER is..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
i shall not reveal it yet :p
but let me start with why i was so blinded for such a long time seeking for answers everywhere outside when all along it was within me.
two days ago i woke up.. ENLIGHTENED!! not to say that it was at a perfect timing as i have a test just 2 hours from waking up n to think abt this rather than my test.. is just weird haha.. this is probably triggered by my conversation with a fren the night before.
the previous nite, i was studying peacefully for my test(actually it's more of i'm rushing haha).. then my fren came to poke fun at seeing me study.. and somehow someway, he asked to see my degree audit(compilation of all my uni results).. unwillingly i just gave in although i know wat's to be expected later.. looking through it and knowing my style, there i have it from my experience - the usual remarks.. smart la, no need study hard also can do well, and bla bla bla (here it may sound kinda hostile and jealous but it's really just in a frenly and joking way la) - i'm not trying to brag or anything like tat.. in actual fact, my results are not even great, it's just average or maybe slightly above average.
then he started comparing me with others (sigh i just hate this situation).. then i explain to him (and also to many others before) tat it's not true.. it's just tat my study style is different.. i study just for the sake of exams not so much for keeping the knowledge.. i target exam questions properly by looking through past year answers and just apply the same style for it.. u can try asking me the subject one week later or less after the exam n i'll be like, "huh?? *scratch head*".. so actually i'm not proud of this cos it's NOT the correct thing to do, but wat to do? exams are meant to be tat way.. i'm just a LAZY bum and the main point is tat i lack interest in it tats y i ended up with this method haha
then i asked him this question, "what's the point of having all these results? whats the point of comparing results?".. look at me.. is this wat i want? am i happier than the person out there with no academic results but each day he wakes up looking forward to making life better simply from doing the thing he enjoys most
in fact i envy such people.. i want so much to be like them.. to be brave enough to live my own expectations and not wat others expect of us.. i know i'm not alone but also many of u my fellow frens and many others out there.
the reason for this? we were brought up in this place.. a place where in every decision we make, consciously or not, we are expected to follow the 'norm'.. the 'norm' sets our path because they built walls on each different path.. we are always under the watchful eyes of others.. we have to worry abt others' opinion, not only those unknown ppl but also those close to us.. ppl believe tat the 'norm' will bring us to where we deserve to be.. or rather, expected to be.. we're simply just human beings
those who care for us - parents, family, and frens; it's not tat they dun understand us.. they're just simply worried of the uncertainties and unexpected if we walk out of the norm, to walk the road untaken... they're just afraid tat we'll get hurt if things dun turn out well.
a phrase i kept hidden, unspoken for a long time:
"Even if my choice today is wrong 5 years from now, at least allow me to see it for myself; to know why i was wrong; to face it; and to learn from it"
as much as we want to protect the people we care about, we must remember that we can't protect them forever. we must let them see the world with their own eyes not from ours. for them to grow, we must set them free... when the time is right.
these are bold words tat i myself is currently not qualified to use to advice others, for i myself is left with one last step; or perhaps it should be the first step:
"to have the courage to build my dream"
i left my fren with this simple phrase:
"if you're doin something you truly like, effort and passion will come naturally;
and soon after, u will excel no matter wat it is tat u do"
so my frens, are u walking your TRUE path?
- if yes, i'm very happy for u and u have my support and faith.
- if not, shall we build this courage together?
What am I to be?
Stop waiting
Down time.. think too much
then i saw this 2 post.. it was about how two different personality test i did quite some time ago gave me the exact same results
then as i read the details again mindfully, i realised that all along i've had this answer i'm seeking.. but the answer was hidden in a puzzle.. pieces of a jigsaw puzzle to be precise.the ANSWER is..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
i shall not reveal it yet :p
but let me start with why i was so blinded for such a long time seeking for answers everywhere outside when all along it was within me.
two days ago i woke up.. ENLIGHTENED!! not to say that it was at a perfect timing as i have a test just 2 hours from waking up n to think abt this rather than my test.. is just weird haha.. this is probably triggered by my conversation with a fren the night before.
the previous nite, i was studying peacefully for my test(actually it's more of i'm rushing haha).. then my fren came to poke fun at seeing me study.. and somehow someway, he asked to see my degree audit(compilation of all my uni results).. unwillingly i just gave in although i know wat's to be expected later.. looking through it and knowing my style, there i have it from my experience - the usual remarks.. smart la, no need study hard also can do well, and bla bla bla (here it may sound kinda hostile and jealous but it's really just in a frenly and joking way la) - i'm not trying to brag or anything like tat.. in actual fact, my results are not even great, it's just average or maybe slightly above average.
then he started comparing me with others (sigh i just hate this situation).. then i explain to him (and also to many others before) tat it's not true.. it's just tat my study style is different.. i study just for the sake of exams not so much for keeping the knowledge.. i target exam questions properly by looking through past year answers and just apply the same style for it.. u can try asking me the subject one week later or less after the exam n i'll be like, "huh?? *scratch head*".. so actually i'm not proud of this cos it's NOT the correct thing to do, but wat to do? exams are meant to be tat way.. i'm just a LAZY bum and the main point is tat i lack interest in it tats y i ended up with this method haha
then i asked him this question, "what's the point of having all these results? whats the point of comparing results?".. look at me.. is this wat i want? am i happier than the person out there with no academic results but each day he wakes up looking forward to making life better simply from doing the thing he enjoys most
in fact i envy such people.. i want so much to be like them.. to be brave enough to live my own expectations and not wat others expect of us.. i know i'm not alone but also many of u my fellow frens and many others out there.
the reason for this? we were brought up in this place.. a place where in every decision we make, consciously or not, we are expected to follow the 'norm'.. the 'norm' sets our path because they built walls on each different path.. we are always under the watchful eyes of others.. we have to worry abt others' opinion, not only those unknown ppl but also those close to us.. ppl believe tat the 'norm' will bring us to where we deserve to be.. or rather, expected to be.. we're simply just human beings
those who care for us - parents, family, and frens; it's not tat they dun understand us.. they're just simply worried of the uncertainties and unexpected if we walk out of the norm, to walk the road untaken... they're just afraid tat we'll get hurt if things dun turn out well.
a phrase i kept hidden, unspoken for a long time:
"Even if my choice today is wrong 5 years from now, at least allow me to see it for myself; to know why i was wrong; to face it; and to learn from it"
as much as we want to protect the people we care about, we must remember that we can't protect them forever. we must let them see the world with their own eyes not from ours. for them to grow, we must set them free... when the time is right.
these are bold words tat i myself is currently not qualified to use to advice others, for i myself is left with one last step; or perhaps it should be the first step:
"to have the courage to build my dream"
i left my fren with this simple phrase:
"if you're doin something you truly like, effort and passion will come naturally;
and soon after, u will excel no matter wat it is tat u do"
so my frens, are u walking your TRUE path?
- if yes, i'm very happy for u and u have my support and faith.
- if not, shall we build this courage together?
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Tears worth crying
it's been so long since i dunno when, i let loose a tear and today.. it flowed like a tap
just before penning this, i was chatting with my sis and she said she'll loose her job in a months' time.. we talked abt how she felt and she's planning to look for a job in sg.. of cos i'll be happy to have her here in sg with me but then i told her to think carefully first and that if she decides to be here, she shld be prepared to be away from home for a long time.. years indeed. away from family and frens.
thinking abt this, it struck me; "so wat abt myself?".. then i counted, it's been 5 years for me and a minimum of at least 4 more years from now.. coincidentally i was just discussing abt this with a fren this afternoon.. questions like "will I go back home next time?", "when will tat be?", "few years from now, can we really decide to pack and go home, leaving this place?", even "wat if u've got a family here by then?" - everybody is also looking for the answers
then i thought deeper, in all these years i've been away; so many things have happened, things have changed, people come n go.. then i thought of my parents - the reason i broke down
i've been away for so long, starting from the time when they were never prepared to let me go and so was I.. 5 years ago, i cried while asking myself if i should leave, then soon after i decided - i've only got this one chance, so why not? and today, here i am asking myself - how long more do i have to be away? for the past 5 years wat have i been to them as a son?.. a son who could not be with them and all the time they just worry abt me.. many things happened and i screwed my results in JC.. they worried so much tat they asked my spiritual teacher to talk to me.. i'm just SO sorry
here i am, to say tat i'm so SORRY - for not being there, for losing my way, for all the worries, for not calling frequently, for playing too much, for the money i'm spending now bcos i screwed up and didn't get uni scholarship, and for many more whether intentionally or not.
i cried not bcos i'm sorry but bcos of the care and love u all have for me.. i know and i'm very grateful but sorry i'm just bad at expressing my feelings. when i heard my sis wanting to leave, i was hoping she wouldn't for the very reason tat i wish she would be home and be there for them. they're already in their 60's with certain health problems of old age and each time i pray, i pray tat time will not come so soon.. not before i'm home, not before i made them proud, not before i've returned the favor
as much as parents say they'll be happy as long as their children are happy; nothing can replace the simple joy of just having them nearby, to call out to each other around in the house..
i wan to be there, and i WILL be there.. maybe not now but i promise i'll try to make it soon
i know they'll never be reading this, but this post is meant to remind me and also my fellow frens who do read this.. time is short, so get your priorities right :)
just before penning this, i was chatting with my sis and she said she'll loose her job in a months' time.. we talked abt how she felt and she's planning to look for a job in sg.. of cos i'll be happy to have her here in sg with me but then i told her to think carefully first and that if she decides to be here, she shld be prepared to be away from home for a long time.. years indeed. away from family and frens.
thinking abt this, it struck me; "so wat abt myself?".. then i counted, it's been 5 years for me and a minimum of at least 4 more years from now.. coincidentally i was just discussing abt this with a fren this afternoon.. questions like "will I go back home next time?", "when will tat be?", "few years from now, can we really decide to pack and go home, leaving this place?", even "wat if u've got a family here by then?" - everybody is also looking for the answers
then i thought deeper, in all these years i've been away; so many things have happened, things have changed, people come n go.. then i thought of my parents - the reason i broke down
i've been away for so long, starting from the time when they were never prepared to let me go and so was I.. 5 years ago, i cried while asking myself if i should leave, then soon after i decided - i've only got this one chance, so why not? and today, here i am asking myself - how long more do i have to be away? for the past 5 years wat have i been to them as a son?.. a son who could not be with them and all the time they just worry abt me.. many things happened and i screwed my results in JC.. they worried so much tat they asked my spiritual teacher to talk to me.. i'm just SO sorry
here i am, to say tat i'm so SORRY - for not being there, for losing my way, for all the worries, for not calling frequently, for playing too much, for the money i'm spending now bcos i screwed up and didn't get uni scholarship, and for many more whether intentionally or not.
i cried not bcos i'm sorry but bcos of the care and love u all have for me.. i know and i'm very grateful but sorry i'm just bad at expressing my feelings. when i heard my sis wanting to leave, i was hoping she wouldn't for the very reason tat i wish she would be home and be there for them. they're already in their 60's with certain health problems of old age and each time i pray, i pray tat time will not come so soon.. not before i'm home, not before i made them proud, not before i've returned the favor
as much as parents say they'll be happy as long as their children are happy; nothing can replace the simple joy of just having them nearby, to call out to each other around in the house..
i wan to be there, and i WILL be there.. maybe not now but i promise i'll try to make it soon
i know they'll never be reading this, but this post is meant to remind me and also my fellow frens who do read this.. time is short, so get your priorities right :)
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Poking some fun at where I AM!!
ok just before u start reading this.. if u r singaporean and u love singapore, this is mainly just for some plain joke n fun OK.. since exams r near.. so, peace :)
just something i found while browsing facebook haha.. yes i'm addicted to facebook.. shucks
Top 10 reasons why there are no sex scandals in Singapore...
10. Can't even be naked in own home, how to have sex?
9. Ah Lians don't exactly turn our leaders on.
8. Our leaders are cloned; no need for sex.
7. Hotels in Geylang no longer allowed to rent out rooms by the hour.
6. Sex not one of the 5 C's.
5. Oral sex still illegal in Singapore.
4. SPGs only go for foreigners.
3. Kiasee - don't want to get AIDS
2. Amended Women's Charter can bankrupt adulterous men.
1. And the number one reason why there are no sex scandals... Still confused over condoms and condos.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Two Italian men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- The two fought and one KILLED the other to have the lady.
Two American men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- They both had the lady TOGETHER.
Two French men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- They killed the lady to have EACH OTHER.
Two Indonesian men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- The first man claimed that island is independent and took the lady as his advisor.
- The second man swam to another island to search for jobs.
Two Thai men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- The first man rented the lady to the second man for 2 baht a night.
Two Filipino men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- The first man kidnapped the lady and asked for ransom from the other man.
Two Singaporean men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- The two men are still waiting for instructions from the GOVERNMENT on how to proceed.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Phoney Discovery (brainless of them)
After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.
So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200m, and headlines in the US newspapers read: "US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians."
One week later, the Singapore press reported the following: "After digging as deep as 500m, Singapore scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using mobile phones."
r u laughing yet? or at least a smile? come on u can do better than tat.. SMILEZZ ^o^
smiles can make wonders.. u dun have to hear it from me, try it urself at the mirror every morning n see if it makes a difference to your day.. if tat still didn't work, u need some xtra help.. go call 999 haha
ok tats all for now.. hopefully there'll be time for some of my own writings after so long.. well i do have alot in mind but it's just random so just difficult to piece them together in proper written form
just something i found while browsing facebook haha.. yes i'm addicted to facebook.. shucks
Top 10 reasons why there are no sex scandals in Singapore...
10. Can't even be naked in own home, how to have sex?
9. Ah Lians don't exactly turn our leaders on.
8. Our leaders are cloned; no need for sex.
7. Hotels in Geylang no longer allowed to rent out rooms by the hour.
6. Sex not one of the 5 C's.
5. Oral sex still illegal in Singapore.
4. SPGs only go for foreigners.
3. Kiasee - don't want to get AIDS
2. Amended Women's Charter can bankrupt adulterous men.
1. And the number one reason why there are no sex scandals... Still confused over condoms and condos.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Two Italian men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- The two fought and one KILLED the other to have the lady.
Two American men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- They both had the lady TOGETHER.
Two French men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- They killed the lady to have EACH OTHER.
Two Indonesian men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- The first man claimed that island is independent and took the lady as his advisor.
- The second man swam to another island to search for jobs.
Two Thai men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- The first man rented the lady to the second man for 2 baht a night.
Two Filipino men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- The first man kidnapped the lady and asked for ransom from the other man.
Two Singaporean men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- The two men are still waiting for instructions from the GOVERNMENT on how to proceed.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Phoney Discovery (brainless of them)
After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.
So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200m, and headlines in the US newspapers read: "US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians."
One week later, the Singapore press reported the following: "After digging as deep as 500m, Singapore scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using mobile phones."
r u laughing yet? or at least a smile? come on u can do better than tat.. SMILEZZ ^o^
smiles can make wonders.. u dun have to hear it from me, try it urself at the mirror every morning n see if it makes a difference to your day.. if tat still didn't work, u need some xtra help.. go call 999 haha
ok tats all for now.. hopefully there'll be time for some of my own writings after so long.. well i do have alot in mind but it's just random so just difficult to piece them together in proper written form
Poem of a Crabby Old Man
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Tampa, Florida, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to Missouri. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, buteloquent, poem.
And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of! this " anonymous" poem winging across the Internet
Crabby Old Man
What do you see nurses? What do you see?
What are you thinking ... when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .... with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food ... and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice ... "I do wish you'dtry!"
Who seems not to notice ...the things that you do.
And forever is losing ... A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding ... The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse ... you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am ... As I sit here so still,
As I do ! atyour bidding, as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten ... with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters ... who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen ..with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now ... a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty .... my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows ... that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now ... I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide. And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty ... My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other ... With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons ... have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me ... to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, ... Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children ... My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me ... My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ...I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing ... young of their own.
And I think of the years ... And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man ... and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age ... look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles ... grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone ... where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass ... A young guy still dwells,
And now and again ... my battered heart swells
I remember the joys ... I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living ... life over again! .
I think of the years ... all too few ... gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact ... that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people ... open and see..
Not a crabby old man. Look closer ... see ... ME!!
Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within ... we will all, one day, be there, too!
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to Missouri. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, buteloquent, poem.
And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of! this " anonymous" poem winging across the Internet
Crabby Old Man
What do you see nurses? What do you see?
What are you thinking ... when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .... with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food ... and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice ... "I do wish you'dtry!"
Who seems not to notice ...the things that you do.
And forever is losing ... A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding ... The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse ... you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am ... As I sit here so still,
As I do ! atyour bidding, as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten ... with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters ... who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen ..with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now ... a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty .... my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows ... that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now ... I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide. And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty ... My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other ... With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons ... have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me ... to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, ... Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children ... My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me ... My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ...I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing ... young of their own.
And I think of the years ... And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man ... and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age ... look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles ... grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone ... where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass ... A young guy still dwells,
And now and again ... my battered heart swells
I remember the joys ... I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living ... life over again! .
I think of the years ... all too few ... gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact ... that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people ... open and see..
Not a crabby old man. Look closer ... see ... ME!!
Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within ... we will all, one day, be there, too!
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