In memory of Aunt Ah Ling
yesterday had not been a good day.. it first started with waiting for 1 hour for my stupid company bus.. but let's not talk abt tat.
a shocking news came last nite.. through msn from my cousin.. my aunt has passed away
i was stunned and my mind was only filled with question marks.. i kept asking why?? even though i know tat answer didn't actually matter
i last saw her during CNY and she was fine.. happily laughing away while watching some Hokkien drama.. it was her favourite.. although she wasn't fine before as she had cancer abt one or 2 years ago, but tat was history isn't it? well never take things for granted
before long, i got out from my daze and started asking myself wat shld i do next? should i go home.. i decided tat i should and told my sis abt the news.. i know i should and i wan to
let me tell a story, i once learned abt one peculiar uncle.. he was a rich businessman and he does alot of charity.. tat the one thing weird abt him from wat ppl say.. whenever ppl invites him to those happy occasions like birthday parties and weddings, he'll never be there.. but if there's one place that u'll never fail to see him.. it's at funerals.. even for those that he might not know
peculiar and weird it is, but i do find reason behind this act.. i have come to learn that the most important event of anyone's life.. is not the birthday's or the wedding, but it's when the person leaves.. just like any event that u come by in life.. when was usually the most meaningful time? was it not always the ending tat made us cry? was it ever easy to leave something behind?
but anyway, i really wanted to go back since i never had a chance to say gd bye and everything came too suddenly.. i was actually prepared to go home tonite.. but unfortunately this morning my mum called me up.. i couldn't make it in time if i start taking a bus home tonite b'cos they're just doing it as a small thing and it'll be on tml morning.
but, i have no regrets b'cos i've done wat i should've did when i went back home this CNY.. at least i made her smile by simply being there.. all i can do now is wish the best for her in her after life.
May You Be Well & Happy!
With metta.
a shocking news came last nite.. through msn from my cousin.. my aunt has passed away
i was stunned and my mind was only filled with question marks.. i kept asking why?? even though i know tat answer didn't actually matter
i last saw her during CNY and she was fine.. happily laughing away while watching some Hokkien drama.. it was her favourite.. although she wasn't fine before as she had cancer abt one or 2 years ago, but tat was history isn't it? well never take things for granted
before long, i got out from my daze and started asking myself wat shld i do next? should i go home.. i decided tat i should and told my sis abt the news.. i know i should and i wan to
let me tell a story, i once learned abt one peculiar uncle.. he was a rich businessman and he does alot of charity.. tat the one thing weird abt him from wat ppl say.. whenever ppl invites him to those happy occasions like birthday parties and weddings, he'll never be there.. but if there's one place that u'll never fail to see him.. it's at funerals.. even for those that he might not know
peculiar and weird it is, but i do find reason behind this act.. i have come to learn that the most important event of anyone's life.. is not the birthday's or the wedding, but it's when the person leaves.. just like any event that u come by in life.. when was usually the most meaningful time? was it not always the ending tat made us cry? was it ever easy to leave something behind?
but anyway, i really wanted to go back since i never had a chance to say gd bye and everything came too suddenly.. i was actually prepared to go home tonite.. but unfortunately this morning my mum called me up.. i couldn't make it in time if i start taking a bus home tonite b'cos they're just doing it as a small thing and it'll be on tml morning.
but, i have no regrets b'cos i've done wat i should've did when i went back home this CNY.. at least i made her smile by simply being there.. all i can do now is wish the best for her in her after life.
May You Be Well & Happy!
With metta.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Ice Cream - DNR
You talk to me
You speak with me
Don't sink before you rise baby
Don't fade away
You hesitate
You seem to wait
For all the time we had
Feels like a world away
Who's to say, we'll be ok
We will make it through the night
Don't wanna wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile
Cause we're the same
And I know that we'll never change
Look I bought your favourite ice cream
I don't wanna see it melt away
If you walk out now
I don't know if we're gonna be the same
Baby just talk with me
Cause I want you to stay here with me
The memories
The things we did
I locked inside my heart
Where I know I won't forget
And now, whos to say, well be ok
We will make it through the night
Don't wanna wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile
Cause were the same
And I know that we'll never change
Look I bought your favorite ice ream
I don't want to see it melts away
If you walk out now
I don't know if we could be the same
Baby just talk with me
Cause I want you to stay here with me
You speak with me
Don't sink before you rise baby
Don't fade away
You hesitate
You seem to wait
For all the time we had
Feels like a world away
Who's to say, we'll be ok
We will make it through the night
Don't wanna wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile
Cause we're the same
And I know that we'll never change
Look I bought your favourite ice cream
I don't wanna see it melt away
If you walk out now
I don't know if we're gonna be the same
Baby just talk with me
Cause I want you to stay here with me
The memories
The things we did
I locked inside my heart
Where I know I won't forget
And now, whos to say, well be ok
We will make it through the night
Don't wanna wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile
Cause were the same
And I know that we'll never change
Look I bought your favorite ice ream
I don't want to see it melts away
If you walk out now
I don't know if we could be the same
Baby just talk with me
Cause I want you to stay here with me
Friday, February 13, 2009
losing myself
what's wrong with me??.. recently, i've been scoring very low on my EQ range.. i see so much anger and hatred building up in me and it makes me wan to explode.. i dunno why but i seem to be so easily bothered by other ppl's action all around me lately.
i hope i'm not going through some sort of depression.. i guess it isn't because it's nothing much related to within myself.. was it b'cos of the previous issue? i'm not too certain.. everywhere around me i see pathetic ppl.. i dunno y i feel this way but i really do.. i really can't bear this any further looking at those ppl who likes to 'act act'.. and i can't understand to see how others are so easily bought in by this fakeness.. is it really so entertaining? has humanity lost their senses?
but anyway, i'm disappointed with myself for being unable to control this feeling of mine and allowing it to spoil my mood.. i ask myself why do i even care so much? i should just heck care abt this kinda ppl and leave them aside outside from my world. guess i've been losing my ability to be mindful. looks i need to practice more meditation.
just in case anyone gets worried, i'm alright. just vending off some of my feeling here. and ever since no one really comes here often now, i've found it easier and comfortable for me to write off my thoughts here. it feels more private now so i can easily speak my mind. guess this is actually how a blog should be.
i hope i'm not going through some sort of depression.. i guess it isn't because it's nothing much related to within myself.. was it b'cos of the previous issue? i'm not too certain.. everywhere around me i see pathetic ppl.. i dunno y i feel this way but i really do.. i really can't bear this any further looking at those ppl who likes to 'act act'.. and i can't understand to see how others are so easily bought in by this fakeness.. is it really so entertaining? has humanity lost their senses?
but anyway, i'm disappointed with myself for being unable to control this feeling of mine and allowing it to spoil my mood.. i ask myself why do i even care so much? i should just heck care abt this kinda ppl and leave them aside outside from my world. guess i've been losing my ability to be mindful. looks i need to practice more meditation.
just in case anyone gets worried, i'm alright. just vending off some of my feeling here. and ever since no one really comes here often now, i've found it easier and comfortable for me to write off my thoughts here. it feels more private now so i can easily speak my mind. guess this is actually how a blog should be.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
there's more to being me
coming back from work today, i couldn't help but start thinking abt my pathetic daily working life. i have to honestly admit that for once, today i stayed back at work for no particular reason except from just doing some OT hours that i do for each week because my other days this week i will not be free to do it. all this while i only did OT when i really needed to complete some work.
i've always been a strong believer that doing OT should only be when it's necessary to complete some urgent work. i've seen so many ppl doing OT just for the sake of showing face to the bosses. it's like so damn fake and end up i see them just wasting time kepo'ing away especially when the bosses have left. worse are those that spend the real working hours wasting time talking nonsense and then act act do OT until overnite on work that should've been done in the daytime instead. i really can't accept this kinda style which is so common among working ppl in singapore but i guess other places aren't very much different anyway. and the worse thing is, there are bosses that enjoy this kinda of fakeness. seriously man, are u all stoopid or blind? i guess it's just the old mentality that they have abt working long hours equal hardwork.
i only believe in efficiency. enuff said
anyway that's not exactly the point.. the point is, i look at myself being here at this point now, and i ask myself "what the heck am i doing here?".. have u ever felt that there's so much more that u can be doing outside from the daily routine pathetic life of coming to the office and do some stupid paper work then home and the cycle just continues on? i really find no meaning in this current state that i'm in now. i know that there's so much more that i should be doing but yet i'm just pathetically stuck here where i am now.
i've read books, trying to kick some sense into me. one part says we should not care much abt what others think about u. it's true that all our life we've always been actors, acting to the way of how others feel we should act. trying to please everyone around us. we crave for the feeling of being liked, or more precisely, we just wan to fit in. this is called conformity.
you know, for quite some time now, i haven't really cared so much abt how ppl thinks but the only thing i've cared abt are how my parents feel. it's been difficult having them putting so much expectation and faith in me. which is why i'm here right now, doing what i'm 'expected' to be doing. i wan to do more, but i'm afraid that i may fall short of what i myself expect to be and also letting down the ppl i care abt. i don't wan to cause them anymore worries. i've never been a good planner and never will be because i know things always go out of plans and so i prefer to take things as they come. saves my effort of planning hehe :)
i guess i'll have to live with this for another one and a half years which is when my bond ends. by then, i will defintely make a change for the better. have to emphasize that the word i use is "i will" not "i hope" or "i may". cheers
i've always been a strong believer that doing OT should only be when it's necessary to complete some urgent work. i've seen so many ppl doing OT just for the sake of showing face to the bosses. it's like so damn fake and end up i see them just wasting time kepo'ing away especially when the bosses have left. worse are those that spend the real working hours wasting time talking nonsense and then act act do OT until overnite on work that should've been done in the daytime instead. i really can't accept this kinda style which is so common among working ppl in singapore but i guess other places aren't very much different anyway. and the worse thing is, there are bosses that enjoy this kinda of fakeness. seriously man, are u all stoopid or blind? i guess it's just the old mentality that they have abt working long hours equal hardwork.
i only believe in efficiency. enuff said
anyway that's not exactly the point.. the point is, i look at myself being here at this point now, and i ask myself "what the heck am i doing here?".. have u ever felt that there's so much more that u can be doing outside from the daily routine pathetic life of coming to the office and do some stupid paper work then home and the cycle just continues on? i really find no meaning in this current state that i'm in now. i know that there's so much more that i should be doing but yet i'm just pathetically stuck here where i am now.
i've read books, trying to kick some sense into me. one part says we should not care much abt what others think about u. it's true that all our life we've always been actors, acting to the way of how others feel we should act. trying to please everyone around us. we crave for the feeling of being liked, or more precisely, we just wan to fit in. this is called conformity.
you know, for quite some time now, i haven't really cared so much abt how ppl thinks but the only thing i've cared abt are how my parents feel. it's been difficult having them putting so much expectation and faith in me. which is why i'm here right now, doing what i'm 'expected' to be doing. i wan to do more, but i'm afraid that i may fall short of what i myself expect to be and also letting down the ppl i care abt. i don't wan to cause them anymore worries. i've never been a good planner and never will be because i know things always go out of plans and so i prefer to take things as they come. saves my effort of planning hehe :)
i guess i'll have to live with this for another one and a half years which is when my bond ends. by then, i will defintely make a change for the better. have to emphasize that the word i use is "i will" not "i hope" or "i may". cheers
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
True 'Ironman'
I just came across this video posted by a fren on facebook.. surely the wonders of facebook.
anyway i've been touched and i feel it's really necessary for me to post if up for sharing and also a reminder to myself.. best part is it still an ongoing story according to their website.
watch the video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJMbk9dtpdY
if u wanna find out more, here's the website i found:
http://www.teamhoyt.com
the true Ironman father :)
anyway i've been touched and i feel it's really necessary for me to post if up for sharing and also a reminder to myself.. best part is it still an ongoing story according to their website.
watch the video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJMbk9dtpdY
if u wanna find out more, here's the website i found:
http://www.teamhoyt.com
the true Ironman father :)
Home in Penang for CNY
ok it's really been damm good to be home in penang for about 9 days for the Chinese Niu Year :) haven't gone back ever since after my final exam paper in NTU.. as usual some things have changed, and some things just remains similar.. i used the word 'similar' because i believe that nothing remains the same. and that is truly a fact (hmm.. reminds me of my ONE and ONLY essay for GP that received an A grade.. everything else was C and below haha)
let's see, i shall list out some things that i miss most about being home:
1. family and home.. home is where your heart belongs
2. frens and the late nite outs.. in s'pore MRT only until 11pm and taxi cost a bomb, how to tahan late nite sia
3. yummy yummy good FOOD.. yess this is definitely true
4. driving.. man i really never missed driving this much until i started working.. driving makes everywhere nearer and many things easier
5. DVD buatan malaysia.. now only RM4 per piece leh and quality is also best haha
6. earning SGD but spending RM
anyway CNY is a time for reunion but i guess ppl nowadays dunno how to appreciate it that much anymore. 2nd day all chinese hawker already busy selling food.. giving ang pow is like becoming a business like dat.. u give then only i give.. before go ppl house must predict if got too many ppl there so must avoid 1st.. haiz, ppl now boh sim liao la.. chiak kaki only
oh must mention this surprising thing, the top most asked question.. apparently this time round it's no longer about the "other half".. guess ppl got bored of asking the same thing after so many years and answer always same nia haha.. so the new winning questiong this year is: "when come back penang settle down?".. haha this one easier to answer la, "will be back but maybe not so soon la".. honestly, i'll 80% definitely will go home to penang in the future, 5% for Felicia Chin to decide, 5% for Fiona Xie, the other 10% for miscellaneous reasons HAHA.. this is not to say anything bad about singapore but i guess home to different ppl will be a different place but still it is the place where your heart belongs.
let's see, i shall list out some things that i miss most about being home:
1. family and home.. home is where your heart belongs
2. frens and the late nite outs.. in s'pore MRT only until 11pm and taxi cost a bomb, how to tahan late nite sia
3. yummy yummy good FOOD.. yess this is definitely true
4. driving.. man i really never missed driving this much until i started working.. driving makes everywhere nearer and many things easier
5. DVD buatan malaysia.. now only RM4 per piece leh and quality is also best haha
6. earning SGD but spending RM
anyway CNY is a time for reunion but i guess ppl nowadays dunno how to appreciate it that much anymore. 2nd day all chinese hawker already busy selling food.. giving ang pow is like becoming a business like dat.. u give then only i give.. before go ppl house must predict if got too many ppl there so must avoid 1st.. haiz, ppl now boh sim liao la.. chiak kaki only
oh must mention this surprising thing, the top most asked question.. apparently this time round it's no longer about the "other half".. guess ppl got bored of asking the same thing after so many years and answer always same nia haha.. so the new winning questiong this year is: "when come back penang settle down?".. haha this one easier to answer la, "will be back but maybe not so soon la".. honestly, i'll 80% definitely will go home to penang in the future, 5% for Felicia Chin to decide, 5% for Fiona Xie, the other 10% for miscellaneous reasons HAHA.. this is not to say anything bad about singapore but i guess home to different ppl will be a different place but still it is the place where your heart belongs.
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